The past belongs to everyone who was there. What do you remember? ADD YOUR STORY
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We are getting more and more notes from folks who have lived lives similar to ours. Thank you to all those who are sending us their stories! Keep them coming! We are hoping to turn this collective experience into advocacy for foster siblings…
This is from Patricia Cratty of Carlsbad, CA:
“I just read about your book and am eager to read it. My father died when I was two, my brother three and my sister one. A few years later my Mother lived with a man who was an alcoholic and abusive. They had twins when I was ten. When I was 16, my Mother committed suicide. The twins were taken by an aunt out of state, my brother lived with our grandparents and my sister and I lived with an Aunt & Uncle who didn’t need or want more kids, they had four of their own.”
I can relate to trying to be “normal” during school, work life, etc. We did all survive, and are all now very close, more so than most siblings. We are so dedicated and supportive of each other even thought we live in different states.”
Time passes and one goes on, but growing up without parents is a hard row to travel.
When I heard about your book on Good Morning America, I couldn’t wait to pick up a copy and start reading. Although our family story is slightly different, we too recently lost both of our parents. Cancer never ran in our family but suddenly our father was diagnosed with colon cancer and after a short, painful battle he passed away less than 4 months after his diagnosis. Our mom struggled with the loss – she had just lost her mom (our grandmom) only 9 months before her husband (our dad) passed away. Needless to say, we were all shocked to learn just 7 months later that our mom had stage IV breast cancer. The doctors began aggressive chemo treatments but she wound up passing away just one month after her diagnosis – 8 months and one day after our dad passed away. I am the oldest of 8. Fortunately we’re a bit older than you all were when you lost your parents – I am in my mid-30s though our youngest siblings was in the midst of his junior year of high school when our dad passed and then beginning his senior year when our mom passed away. We are fortunate in that we have not been separated and that there are a lot of us so when there are times where it feels like no one else could possibly understand what we’re feeling, it is comforting to know that 7 other people do understand. Even so though, it has been very difficult trying to find our “new normal” as a family. Each day is a new day and sometimes it seems so amazing to see how far we’ve come and all of the happy milestones that have taken place since we lost our parents. They both passed in 2008 so it has only been a year. Ironically, I bought your book on the one year anniversary of our mom’s passing. In the beginning it was hard to remember all of the happy memories without my mind immediately wandering to the sad memories of when they were sick – terminally illness can leave the surviving family members with many painful, vivid memories. Thankfully we are working through our grief and feeling a little stronger each day. One of the most beautiful gifts they gave us is each other. It is amazing to look at each of my siblings and see so many similarities to each of our parents – somehow it really makes it feel as though a part of them is still here with us.
I also related to this book. My mom was sick with cancer most of my life, and died when I was 11. I had 3 older sisters: 15, 16, and 18 when our mom died. Our dad worked 2 hours away and sometimes only came home on weekend. We were essentially on our own. I am so glad I had older sisters to help me. Our dad died when I was 23. He had become an alcoholic and died of cirrosis(sp) of the liver. BUT… us kids are all right also.