Here she is, all smiles from the very beginning.

These arms are always open for a hug. Also, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to post a picture of her in a bikini!

Another hug, another bikini. This is a great example of the warmth that this gal brings to any situation. Look, she’s making Amanda smile! (Though not rare in real life, Amanda is not one for smiling in photographs. And you all KNOW how she felt about her little sister at this point in time!)

Ah, yes. The famous catalog shoot that began and ended Liz’s modeling career. She is wearing turquoise jeans, btw.  Young Brooke Sheilds, for realz!

Heh, heh. Prom. She’s seriously going to kill me for this one.

Liz in front of her home in Long Island. It’s a happy place. Look at that grin!

Here’s Liz and me in Marfa, Texas, where we finished writing The Kids are All Right. We were trying to take an author photo of the two of us. This one, needless to say, was not a contender. (Note my chin.)

And here’s our beautiful sis on her wedding day. There seriously and in all honesty has never been a more beautiful bride!

WE LOVE YOU LIZ!!! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

That day, all four Welches met up in Washington DC to begin the launch on the Diane Rehm show.  That interview still gives me goosebumps!  Diana turned 32 the very next day and we celebrated in Brooklyn before our book party at the Pyramid on October 1st.  That weekend, we read to packed and teary-eyed crowds in Bedford, Rye, and New Canaan ,where we were hugged by countless familiar faces. Thus began our marathon book tour that zig zagged across the country.  I am still in awe that 90 people came to Aldo’s in Greenport, 80 to Books Inc in San Francisco and another 30-plus in Los Angeles, where I also had the giddy pleasure of taping a show at NPR’s Market Place with Diana and shaking hands with Tess Vigeland and Bill Radke!

Even more thrilling was seeing old friends in Oxford AND Greenwood, Mississippi, and then Essex, Vermont where Libby and Deb, two sisters with a very similar story, drove more than two hours to have their books signed.  Deb marched up to me at the Pheonix Book Store and said, “I’m Diana” and then Libby chimed in, “and I am Liz!”  Their brother is actually called Dan, and their Amanda could not come, but our story touched them to their core as they too lost their parents and were separated after the deaths.  They have one more sister, and all five siblings are closer than ever. They are more than all right, too. We have heard from so many people who have similar stories, and still receive daily emails from friends, fans, and folks who knew us or our mom.

Other 2009 highlights include a jam-packed reading at the Hotel San Jose in Austin where Diana cast her friends as her siblings. Following suit, I did the same at The Half King in New York where the literary stars who blurbed our book read for Dan (Sean Wilsey), Amanda (Heidi Julavits) and Diana (Daphne Beal).  My dear friend, the author Laurie Sandell, blogged about it, God Bless her.

That was the start of the holiday season and our gifts came early–Amazon chose us as one of their Best Books of 2009, as did Sean Wilsey for Salon.  Vanity Fair did us double honors: First by asking us to read for their Reading Room series, and then by choosing our book as their “Top Ten Books to read on your Holiday vacation.”  I wrote the Op Ed story about my mom and the death of soap operas on a lark, never thinking they’d actually go for it… imagine my surprise when I learned that the story would run on the same day our mom died, December 13th, twenty-four years later.  The emails came pouring in–Judy Lewis, John Cunningham and Courtney Simon and other acting friends of mom shared beautiful memories of our mom, as did the son and daughter of Mary Stuart, the star of “Search for Tomorrow.” People got in touch who adopted our pets after dad died, a caddy sent a hilarious note thanking us for the book, and recalling how he more than once carried our mom’s golf clubs at the Bedford Golf and Tennis club.  Those stories are precious as each memory of our mother fills in a new blank spot, offering us a rare glimpse of a woman we knew not long enough.  (The caddy called her a stone-cold fox, John Cunningham, her husband on “Loving,” said she was the most graceful of women.)

What else?  Well, Megan Flinn and Lizann Rodes, two friends from Georgetown, hosted a reading in my honor at Megan’s home in Pennsylvania where 60 friends came to listen to me read, with Megan channeling Diana, and Lizann doing an excellent Amanda.  The following day, I had lunch with the GREAT Pat Towers, formerly the Features Editor of O Magazine and now hosting her own radio show, Reading, Writing and Definitely NOT Arithmetic, of which I had the GREAT honor of being her first guest. There are so many more amazing things that have happened over the past few months–from our appearance on Good Morning America to the surprise Entertainment Weekly spread.

All this to say, we Welches are thankful for all the love and the support. And for one another.  May 2010 be as happy and healthy and full of giddy surprises for everyone.

To start, we are all closer than ever. Here is a photo from my wedding day, May 30, 2009.

But I am jumping way ahead!  People want to know about the years immediately after Diana showed up in Virginia wearing bloochers and headbands: Well, after two miserable years at the uber preppy Saint Annes, Diana transferred to Tandem, a super liberal school in Charlottesville where she was one of a dozen students in her class.  Doc Martins and torn jeans quickly replaced the penny loafers and plaid kilts.  Amanda had one house rule–no tattoos–which Diana quickly broke, inking a star on the top of her foot with a needle and indigo in the tenth grade. 

You can read Amanda’s take on Thanksgiving here, and you can read Joe Gross’ take on how Diana is perceived in Austin here.

We love to celebrate the holidays with food and cooking together. Our parents always made a big deal of the holiday meals and we have continued that tradition, changing it a bit and creating our own traditions along the way.

Food memories are very strong for me (and I think my siblings). For me, it’s not Thanksgiving without Mom’s stuffing, which I made for my contribution to the meal. For Liz, its not Christmas without Mom’s Pumpkin Bread. In our many moves and transitions, somehow we have lost her recipe. I’ve tried many different over the years, some that I actually prefer, but it has all become muddy now. I have one that Aunty Eve sent me before she died that she thought was a good representation. She made little notes in the margins about how Mom made it. (Like how Mom used butter, not oil, and a glass loaf pan). I haven’t made it in a few years, but perhaps I shall for Liz this year.

Here is that recipe:

“Special Pumpkin Bread”

Combine the following in a large bowl:4 large eggs (lightly beaten), 1 16oz can of pumpkin, 2 Cups sugar, 3/4C vegetable oil (butter), 2/3 Cups water. Mix well

Combine the following in another bowl: 3 1/3 cups unbleached flour, 2 tsps Baking soda, 3/4/tsp salt, 2 tsps pumpkin pie spice, 1 tsp ground nutmeg, 1 tsp ground cinnamon. Mix well.

Add the flour mixture  to the pumpkin mixture and stir until well-blended. Stir in 1 C chopped pecans.

Spoon batter into 2 greased 9″ X 5″ X 3″ loaf pans and bake at 350 for an hour or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes and then turn out to cool on racks.

Enjoy! And Happy Holidays

(For those of you who feel frightened or disgusted by the linked video, perhaps you’ll be comforted by what Alice is up to now.)

When we handed The Kids are All Right over to our editor, we knew that the monstrous manuscript we were giving her was way longer than it was supposed to be. But it’s hard to fit four childhoods into one book, and we just couldn’t bear to up and trash those memories that are so strong or scrap those incidences that still hold such importance for each of us.

So we thought we’d share with you some of the good bits that ended up on the editing room floor, the ones we swept up and shoved in a file for safe keeping.

The Kids are All Right ended up being a book with no afterword, a traditional device used to wrap up a narrative in a tidy fashion.  It wasn’t for lack of trying. Liz and I tested out a bunch of versions, searching for the perfect way to end our story.

In one attempt, we tried writing about going back to our old house, where we discovered some poetry in the way some things changed and some stayed the same: The cottage, the depressing little house where we spent a lonely year together right after Dad died, had been transformed into a sunny, modern one wherein lived a single widow woman whose daughter never visits; our barn, once filled with horses and an evil cat named Ted who terrorized all passersby had been torn down and replaced by a tennis court; Mom’s house had been completely redone – blown up and out, is how the current owner described it – that is, except for the room in which Mom died. That room, we couldn’t help but notice, remained eerily the same – even the new bed was in the same spot as Mom’s Craftmatic.

In another, we described my high school graduation, where Liz, Amanda and Dan presented me with “The Book of Diana,” a collection of memories from everyone and anyone who knew our parents. Almost a precursor to The Kids are All Right, “The Book of Diana” was Amanda’s idea. She was sad that Mom and Dad weren’t going to be around to see their youngest graduate, and she wanted them there in spirit. So Liz typed up a letter asking people to recollect Bob and Ann, and flung it far and wide – from extended family members to business associates – using her reportorial skills to track each person down.The result is a beautifully designed oversized book that is completely falling apart now – I’ve lugged across country several times – that I completely and totally cherish. I cried when I first opened it at the party the sibs threw for me at Amanda’s house, right there in front of all my punk rock high school friends, and I sometimes catch myself tearing up still when I flip through it.

But neither of these attempts quite worked.  In the end we decided to leave readers hanging a bit – our reunion seemed to wrap up the story enough for now. We were together, that’s all that mattered.

Below is Liz and my third stab at an afterword. It describes the four of us heading to Boston in a wicked blizzard to attend out Uncle Don’s funeral. We were inspired to post this deleted scene in its entirety after we received our cousin Jeff’s story – which you can read here – wherein he talks about the four of us braving the weather to honor our dad’s family. Come rain or come snow could be the Welches’ motto, determined as we still are to be there for each other, to be a family, with all the responsibilities it entails.

“Snow swarmed the headlights of our rental car, fighting to be seen in the dark.  Dan drove slow and steady, hands firmly gripping the steering wheel, as red taillights flashed in front of us.  We were silent, on our way back from Boston, where we had just attended the funeral for our dad’s brother, Don.

Feeling nostalgic, we had decided to have dinner at Friendly’s.  When we were little, our dad took us there often. It was big deal in our house. He loved their lime sherbert shake. Mom always got their Reese’s peanut butter sundae, so did Amanda. Both Dan and Diana always got grilled cheese and fries, followed by mint-chocolate-chip cones with chocolate sprinkles.  Liz remembered loving the clam boat platter, but riding in the backseat of that rental car, she thought she might be sick.  It was 1994, and Friendly’s just wasn’t what it used to be.

“Hey guys,” she asked, leaning forward. “If you could go back, and re-write history, would you change anything?”

We were quiet.  The windshield wipers swept. A new, cold wind that sucked the smoke of Dan’s freshly lit cigarette out into the night sliced through the car’s warmth.

Amanda was the first to speak, from the passenger seat. “No,” she said decisively, keeping her eyes on the road. “It made us who we are.”

“That’s how I feel,” Liz said, falling back into her seat. “Dan? What about you? And, can you roll up the window? I’m freezing.”

Dan did, after flicking the cherry off his cigarette with his finger.  “Honestly, I think it’s true. I think if Mom and Dad had lived, we’d be spoiled brats.”

“I’d still hate you, Liz,” Amanda added, not unkindly. Laughing Dad’s laugh.

“Di?” Liz asked, ignoring Amanda. “How about you?”

Diana had her forehead pressed against the cold window. She could see her reflection in the black glass.  “No,” she said after a while.  “I don’t think so.”  She wasn’t sure. She was with her family now, and happier than she had ever been when they were apart.  But, what if they never had been? How would things have been different? How would we all be different? Where would we each be? There was no way of knowing.

But here’s where we were: We were on our way back to Liz’s Manhattan apartment on Washington Square Park where we would spend the night, on couches, in shared beds, before Amanda and Diana took the train back town to Charlottesville. Dan would stay the night at Liz’s too, even though he had his own place not far away, in the East Village.  We all wanted to wake up and have coffee and breakfast together while we had the chance. We were still making up for lost time.”

“When I heard about your book on Good Morning America, I couldn’t wait to pick up a copy and start reading.

Although our family story is slightly different, we too recently lost both of our parents. Cancer never ran in our family but, suddenly, our father was diagnosed with colon cancer and after a short, painful battle, he passed away less than 4 months after his diagnosis. Our mom struggled with the loss – she had just lost her mom (our grandmom) only 9 months before her husband (our dad) passed away. Needless to say, we were all shocked to learn — just 7 months later — that our mom had stage IV breast cancer.”The doctors began aggressive chemo treatments but she wound up passing away just one month after her diagnosis – 8 months and one day after our dad passed away. I am the oldest of 8. Fortunately we’re a bit older than you all were when you lost your parents – I am in my mid-30s though our youngest siblings was in the midst of his junior year of high school when our dad passed and then beginning his senior year when our mom passed away. We are fortunate in that we have not been separated and that there are a lot of us so when there are times where it feels like no one else could possibly understand what we’re feeling, it is comforting to know that 7 other people do understand. Even so though, it has been very difficult trying to find our “new normal” as a family. Each day is a new day and sometimes it seems so amazing to see how far we’ve come and all of the happy milestones that have taken place since we lost our parents. They both passed in 2008 so it has only been a year. Ironically, I bought your book on the one year anniversary of our mom’s passing. In the beginning it was hard to remember all of the happy memories without my mind immediately wandering to the sad memories of when they were sick – terminally illness can leave the surviving family members with many painful, vivid memories. Thankfully we are working through our grief and feeling a little stronger each day. One of the most beautiful gifts they gave us is each other. It is amazing to look at each of my siblings and see so many similarities to each of our parents – somehow it really makes it feel as though a part of them is still here with us.”

Click here to read the venerable alt weekly’s take on their former employee.

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“I grew up loving Soap Operas and first became aware of Ann Williams when she was on The Doctors. I wrote her a fan letter in the late 60’s and she sent me a reply along with a beautiful photo of her with a horse. I asked Ann if I could start a fan club for her and that’s where it all began.”

“Neither one of us knew anything about clubs so we learned together. Ann was always so giving to her fans and always treated me like a friend. Fan clubs were just beginning to get big about that time and Ann was always so good about leaving her family for a day to attend conventions and she was always one of the most popular. Ann always invited my friends, Delores Torrence & Diann Clark, and myself to her house when we were in town. I have so many fond memories of that grey house. I remember swimming with the three older kids in the pool mentioned in the book. I also enjoyed hearing what you had to say about Morgan Fairchild. My mom and I were at the studio on Morgan’s first day of taping. I have beautiful photos & memories of that trip.
My parents and I drove to Detriot when Ann was in “Applause” on their pre-Broadway try-outs. Then I saw it again on Broadway. Diann, Delores and I also went to Washington DC to see Ann in “The Headhunters.”
She loved her family more than anything.
When she was home she was just mommy and not the big soap star she was. I remember hearing about Bob’s death. I was in NYC and called the house and Aunt Eve told me what had happened. Ann was in the hospital at the time and I was so shocked when I heard about her cancer. I remember her telling me how lucky she was that they got it all.
She said she had to be there for her chldren. It is so hard to see Ann in the photos when she was very ill. I want to remember her as the beautiful and vibrant person she was.
I was so surprised and happy when Delores called and told me about this book. It has brought back so many wonderful memories. So many times throughout the years I had wondered what had happened to you all. Ann always said Liz was the actress and Amanda was the vet. It was heartbreaking to hear everything you have all been through but your mom and dad would be very proud of what you have all accomplished in your lives.”