The Kids are All Right: A Memoir by Diana and Liz Welch with Dan and Amanda Welch

Lisa was Dan’s first love. They broke up in college, but their relationship was momentous for both of them. Dan shared his memories of their time together in the book, from their first kiss to their painful break up. This is Lisa’s story.

“I met Dan the summer before my sophomore year of college, and fell madly in love with him.  It’s kind of hard not to fall in love with him.  He is an amazing person.”

“Our first date was at the China Club; Karen Kayser taught the bouncer acting and he treated us like royalty. (I was underage, but I had one of Dan’s special fake ID’s.) Dan and I got along so well, because we were both dorky little kids at heart.  (Athough Dan was way cooler than me.)  We were inseparable; he became like a member of our family.  My mother was so impressed with him because he would help her in the kitchen.  He even came on family road trips with us, and fought with my sister on the long drive.

Dan was very open with me about everything that happened to him, and the amazing thing about him is that despite his circumstances he never complained, he was always positive and in a good mood.  He never had any money, and yet if anyone needed anything Dan would give it to them.  He is very generous.  He always talked about his sisters and how much he loved them.  I remember how worried he was about Diana, and how much he wanted to see her.

I don’t think I fully grasped what it meant that he didn’t have parents.   There were times when I wasn’t nice to him, because I wanted him to visit me and I didn’t understand that he literally had no money.  When we broke up, I thought it was a temporary thing until we were both in the same place again.  I thought I would end up marrying him — once we both grew up. Hearing that he wasn’t coming back to New York for the summer really upset me.   He never told me he couldn’t stay with Karen and wouldn’t be able to afford  New York.

That summer I was raped.  After it happened I was scared and humiliated, and I needed Dan.  Obviously, I wasn’t thinking how it would affect him.  I didn’t even know how it affected him until I read about it in this book.  I was so messed up, I hardly remember telling him. I definitely don’t think God was punishing us!!!  I can’t believe I said that!!!  I do remember him getting really angry and punching a wall.  Of course, I wish I never told him.  I don’t think we ever spoke about it again.

It kills me that I hurt Dan in any way, or made him feel responsible for what happened to me!  I feel so lucky to have met Dan. He impacted my life in so many ways — from always leaving a piece of food on my plate (like his dad) to going through foster care training and eventually adopting.  This story was so sad to me because when you go through the training to become a foster parent the goal is always to try to keep the family together.  It’s bad enough they lost their parents, someone should have kept them together.”